RE: https://hachyderm.io/@diemkay/117326330662539268
Andreea speaks truth. There is so much unsolicited advice, so much of it soaked in guilt.
Here's my unsolicated parenting advice, something that really helped me in my years of parenting a baby: replace ‘should’ with ‘can.’ Anything somebody tells you that you •should• do as a parent, take it as something you •can• do.
Suddenly all of this guilt-laden unwanted advice becomes a beautiful menu of choices available to you, things that worked for someone and that your can try if your want to.
A worthwhile read if you’re a parent or thinking of being one: there’s a huge market and cottage industry of influencers out there eager to sell you stuff. Sleep consultants, food therapists, influencers with toys, clothing and whatnot.
Most of it exists to prey on your insecurities as a first time parent without a community or family to advise you. It creates dissatisfaction and plants the seed in your doubt that you’re not good enough and your child will suffer some lasting consequences if you don’t buy the Thing.
We were lucky to have family advise us, and all I can say is: you don’t need even a third of what’s on offer.
Your baby will (statistically speaking) be fine. You will sleep again. They will eat, they will walk, they will read and learn and socialize without parents having to worry about it, unless medically told otherwise.
“This doesn’t work for us” is a complete phrase you can use, just as “we chose not to” is.
https://19thnews.org/2026/09/motherhood-baby-items-internet-algorithms/
@[email protected] My son has just gone to uni as a mostly sane human, and I endorse this message. All decent parenting advice is based on anecdote or the statistical mean, which means it may be helpful (oddly, especially if it is something that sounds counter intuitive) but your baby is not the baby from the anecdote nor a statistically average baby in every way so it may not be helpful even if it's generally really good advice.