Somehow even years after transition, cis het women still seem about as baffling and different as they did before. I'm obviously still friends with a great many, but I still always kinda feel like an outsider in their groups. It's probably at least a lot on me, but even still. I wish I knew how to relate better to people who have been "normal" their whole lives.
@JessTheUnstill if it helps, I'm a cis het who often feels very other to other women. 馃挏
@sarajw It just seems like I always only find out after the fact that there are whisper networks and group chats and lunch outings and shit that nobody ever invited me to, and I feel too uncomfortable to ask to be included. Maybe I just don't belong after all, since they're always going on about husbands and kids and I just don't have anything to contribute.
@JessTheUnstill @sarajw idk. It鈥檚 mysterious sometimes how groups form, but often a component to group cohesion is exclusivity and exclusion. It can feel really isolating.
I鈥檝e enjoyed observing and thinking about groups I鈥檓 outside of as an anthropologist might, and focusing instead on the individuals I like and who get me.
@JessTheUnstill @IcooIey @sarajw yeah I think the sometimes unpleasant exclusionary behavior is learned from years of being oppressed by the patriarchy. Like for example I never understood women that feel the need to compete with each other for attention. I don鈥檛 really know anything about you or your friend group, but it sounds like you might want some better more considerate friends.
@JessTheUnstill @IcooIey @sarajw oh I didn鈥檛 get that maybe these are not close friends. Carry on then, I get what you mean and I think it鈥檚 a common human feeling, but it鈥檚 just easier for them to exclude you or forget you are different. They have to go the extra mile to be considerate right?
