Discussion
I feel mastodon could do with learning some ring theory, folks, I do not need a bunch of replies telling me that no one will ever value my wife's work ever again in any way and that we should just give up. What the fuck is the point of saying this to me besides cruelty. Will and have blocked.
@grimalkina
Oh FFS! What a nightmare, I’m so sorry!
[big hugs]
If these griefers can walk into your lives and cause you misery, I hope you don't mind a kinda-stranger doing the exact opposite from afar.
@grimalkina hey - my wife is a teacher too. I’m a disabled combat vet who volunteers in my community, and who has, by multiple measures, ‘done a lot’ for this country and my neighbors.
The positive impact she makes on folk so vastly outweighs my own that it’s simply not even a comparison.
It sounds like your wife is awesome. That she’s doing great things for people who need everything chance they can have. That she’s making sure the world is a better place or at least not as bad as it could be. She and every other teacher are the best goddamn people of us. I don’t know you beyond the parasocial dance that is social media and I don’t know her at all - but I know she kicks ass.
@johnchiment thank you for this kind reply, this was genuinely so moving to me it's hard to find words to reply. We're sending you and your wife all warmth and appreciation back!
@grimalkina
Very interesting, new to me.
I am hopeful that our current madness will abate, and that things will go better for you and your wife.
@grimalkina thanks! I never knew this had a name!
@grimalkina I just realized that I had a passionate discussion with a colleague yesterday about the importance of technical vocab and how we must teach it to our juniors, so that they can clearly and accurately describe their ideas; while at the same time, I haven't the vocabulary to discuss everyday social interactions.
@tmr232 this is one of my favorite things about psychology, I love when it names things we have experienced so deeply and gives us some tools for communicating about it
@[email protected] I love having a name for this concept, which I first met when some Chinese friends were horrified to learn that the immediate family normally handled funeral proceedings in the UK. "But... they're the ones most impacted! That's when everyone else is needed most."
Also: you (and by the sounds of things your wife) are standing strong even if this is a crappy timeline at the moment and that is awesome. There's a lot of us rooting for you, and hoping it gets less crappy soon, including adding some recognition for the people who are actually doing the hard work.
@mavnn thank you <3 this brought tears to my eyes and I really appreciate it!
@grimalkina Thank you for sharing this, I am finding it fascinating and useful already.
Also, I am sorry that people can be so cruel. Some people really do just suck.
I never knew the name for this, thank you.
@mwl it really names something useful!!
@mwl her original article about it is: https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/la-timeless/how-not-to-say-the-wrong-thing
@[email protected] @[email protected] I've just also realised that this is exactly what the best bosses do, which I've always previously described as 'being the shit shield' but that's a, erm, less useful name in a professional context than 'applies ring theory in their management of the team'
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