In the mean time, I've joined RockSoc and started buying CDs, so I haven't listened to a tape for a while. But now I need to drive myself home from uni, and the car only has a tape player. So I drive for a while, but it's a four hour drive and I'm tired so I stop, find the cassette, and drop it in the car stereo. And after a while, it starts playing Hem Me In, and I start crying. I mean, really streams coming down my face crying.
Fast forward a few years and I'm at university, and I'm depressed. I don't know enough about mental health yet to know it, but the combination of a bunch of stuff including the knowledge I'm failing my degree badly overall despite seeming to understand things faster than my year mates individually (hello undiagnosed #adhd) and some things having gone very wrong for a close friend means I very much am depressed whether I know it or not.
In the mean time, I've joined RockSoc and started buying CDs, so I haven't listened to a tape for a while. But now I need to drive myself home from uni, and the car only has a tape player. So I drive for a while, but it's a four hour drive and I'm tired so I stop, find the cassette, and drop it in the car stereo. And after a while, it starts playing Hem Me In, and I start crying. I mean, really streams coming down my face crying.
For some reason, that song, at that moment, was exactly what was needed to break through the depressive shell and remind of a whole bunch of core things that had got buried in the numbness. And it's a good song, you should go l listen to it as well.
The only problem being I'm still driving down the motorway at 70mph and I can't see a thing through the tears. Fortunately, I didn't die. So that's also good.
As a special bonus for reading this far, on the same album the band hired Brian Blessed for no other reason than to laugh at the beginning and end of a track. Have a look for 'The Joust' by Eden Burning, you won't be disappointed by the laugh.
Nb: hopefully this doesn't need saying but it's not that the song 'cured my depression' or anything stupid like that. But it was certainly a huge turning point in letting me know something was wrong, and to start dealing with it.
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